Reality – the differences start to appear
All married couples experience a honeymoon period – where the marriage and conjugal relationship is born. This relationship grows and matures through many different stages, not least the arrival of children. Through these stages, situations arise and bring about crises in the relationship which had seemed to have been built on a rock. However, these crises do not mean that love dies but should lead couples to a new way of loving and developing their love into a more mature and selfless way.
In the early days of falling in love, love may have been experienced as a feeling but marriage demands more than just a feeling. It is the commitment of one to the other, the promise to share one’s life with the other, and to support each other in the couple’s life project.
To quote Father Caffarel, spiritual counsellor to the first Team of Equipes Notre-Dame: “Love promises a lot. As soon as it emerges it performs big things. But it is fragile and vulnerable! It does not have the stability and the permanency of the rock; it is a flame in the wind, which unless it is maintained weakens and dies very quickly. Lovers blame it for not keeping its promises; they should however, blame each other for not knowing its demands and honouring them.”
Love in marriage is a daily challenge, sharing everything for better or worse, taking responsibility for each other, accepting each other and helping each other to become what they wish to be. Today traditionally allocated roles of men and women have shifted leading to the need for fair compromise between them to share evenly their workload.
Marriage requires a heart which is patient and kind, knows how to forgive and acknowledges the essential need to make time to be present to each other now, more difficult since the arrival of the mobile phone. To be truly present to one another is a vital requirement in keeping love alive and demands deliberate setting aside of time to pay attention to one another and leads to intimate sharing and opening of minds, bodies and souls to our loved one.
This blog was written by Piotr & Dzidzia Chodzko-Zajko from Teams.