Feeling stuck in relationship Groundhog Day?


Does your relationship feel as if it is stuck in a repetitive cycle – even romantic gestures have become stale and no longer spark the feelings they used to? Here are a few things to consider and ways to reignite your romance:

  • Admit that there is a problem: it’s worth the pinch to your ego to take stock and admit things are not where they should be and to do that sooner rather than later. Talk to your partner about how you feel and listen to their feelings on the matter – its likely your partner has noticed too. Find a time to have this conversation when you’re not feeling frustrated about things and work on resolving not blaming.


  • Are there simple fixes you can make – have you had some down-time together lately? Maybe you are sticking to ‘date night’ but it’s the same old meal and a movie routine each time. On the other end of the spectrum is it possible you are spending too much time together and have nothing new to talk about? Why not meet up / Zoom with a friend or do something you enjoy – you’ll come back together refreshed and with something to share. Check out this article for ways to keep your relationship interesting – most of these ideas will work in lockdown.


  • Is there a deeper issue –do you feel that you are stuck due to the relationship going sour? Perhaps infidelity, loss or a trauma has occurred and the relationship has never healed. Maybe accumulated disappointments and hurts have slowly ground the relationship down. These issues need to be addressed properly to move on. If you think there is something more serious underlying the situation or would like expert help to work through things check out Marriage Care’s donation only relationship counselling service.


  • Do you need a change of perspective? If you have read through the list above and are still not sure what’s wrong it could be time for a more positive perspective. A good starting point is to be grateful that you have someone with whom to share your life. Then look for specific things about your partner for which you can be grateful and think of ways to show your appreciation. Words of affection, eye contact and loving touch in everyday moments as well as special times together can make a big difference, and these will flow more from a grateful heart. You’ll find that thinking on the positives will leave space for more creativity too, helping you to come up with new ways to enjoy your relationship. This in turn will lead to a rekindling of your romance.


Its important to realise that every relationship will go through days and seasons when it feels like romance has come to a dead end. This is completely normal so don’t panic, but its important and worth the effort to address the situation. The good news is relationship ruts that are worked through often lead to a stronger, closer bond between partners. Be patient as you maneuver your way through this season and don’t expect things to change overnight but know, with conscious effort, things will improve – and probably get even better!