Becoming ‘Us’


With the lifting of restrictions on numbers attending weddings on the 21st of June, there will be a significant increase in couples getting married.

Marriage means entering into a completely new kind of relationship, particularly for those getting married in church. As Christians we believe it is not only a public declaration in front of family and friends, but a promise to one another and God, of the willingness to work on becoming a new creation, a WHOLE entity, two in one flesh. In Mark’s Gospel (10:6-9) we read ‘They are no longer two but one body’. What does it mean to become two in one? Do I let go of my self? Does ‘me’ no longer exist? I know that I love you, my beloved, with a love that stretches beyond any perimeters that the heart or mind can imagine, but it is still I/me that is loving you, and you the same to me too. That is why we choose to get married: this singular and personal love that we have for one another. Yet, God invites us to even more. When I give my whole self to you in marriage and you do the same to me, we become more than the sum of the two parts, more than you and I, we become ‘we’, that’s ‘two in one flesh’ and God makes His home with us. It could be said that the THREE persons of God, plus the TWO people in marriage become ONE: 3+2=1!! In John’s Gospel (17:23) it says ‘That they be completely one’: As a married couple, unity is our calling and our goal, it’s a lifelong journey, challenging but a great blessing. Working towards ‘oneness’ requires a mentality that focuses our mind on growing as a couple: not just me, not only you, but there is now, more importantly, an ‘us’. It means being ‘in it together’, developing a lifestyle that witnesses to the fact that whatever life throws at us, we can face it ‘as one’, seeking to live out Jesus’ prayer to our Father: ‘May they be in us, just as you are in me and I am in you’ (Jhn 17:21).

This blog was written by Brian and Maureen Devine, Coordinators of Two in One Flesh (, who are part of the Alliance of Catholic Marriage Organisations.

For more information on the alliance please visit: